The world is very cruel and I have experienced that on my skin. Till my thirtieth birthday I let other people create my life. I lived in a small city, everybody knew me and I had to always wear a certain image to represent myself. And definitely I was not happy about that. Lots of my talents were left hidden because I was constantly asking myself in what kind of way will people judge me. Maybe that was just my fear but the feeling was definitely blocking my development as a successful and strong woman.
My teenage years were filled with lots of amazing moments and some disappointments as well. I have managed to create an image of a respectful woman who always knows how to talk and act in different situations but I still had that fear in my mind of doing something that will not be appropriate for other people. Honestly it doesn’t take much to destroy that kind of reputation. And with all the experiences I had the worst thing was the acknowledgement that I started to lose my self confidence. I got lots of comments behind my back which sometimes really hurt my heart.
After moving to England I decided to change my life and to finally heal my soul from all the judgements. Change of environment was the best decision I have ever made. My stress level dropped dramatically because I knew that nobody really knows me here and I can start to express myself in a way that I want. Yes, many people would say I am sensitive but I got back my strength that I lost in my teenage years. I concentrate only on myself and my loved ones, other things are just not important for me anymore. Writing a blog has become a good way of releasing all the emotions that were kept inside me and at the same time doing what I love to do.
My dad always said to me “life is a game, enjoy it” and I always tried to apply that into my life but it took me a while to get there. Now I fully understand what he was trying to tell me. I think all the people should enjoy life, be who they are and do things they really want to do. And the most important thing be kind to each other.