Modern Technology Babies

Whether we like it or not, it is a fact that our babies were born in a modern technology world. Is that a good or bad thing? Honestly, there’s no right answer to that question. It depends on how we introduce them to the new modern technology. There is a very fine line between the advantages and disadvantages of it. This world is a very damaged place, and the Internet provides all kinds of information that can be extremely educational or on the other hand harmful for our children. But thankfully, we are here to monitor what kind of external stimulus we provide to prevent a devastating end result.

When I was a child, computers, phones and tablets weren’t as popular as they are today. My parents didn’t buy clothes online or post our family photos on social media. I didn’t watch cartoons on YouTube or play games on the tablet. My playroom was outside in the parking lot and near by bushes and it was like that until I went to primary school. On a rainy day my mother would cover the whole living room floor with newspaper, prepare some water colours, and I would paint for hours. It was very different and stress free. It was less of a worry for parents as well because they didn’t need to think about the very dangerous modern technology.

As a mother, I am very aware that I have to educate myself and learn about all aspects of technology.  This will enable me to teach and protect my child when the time comes for her to explore that part of the world. My daughter is only 18 months now, but I see that she is very curious and at that stage of observation where she copies everything. At this age, it is very important that we monitor the kind of information they take in. And of course, the older they get the more they get exposed to the new modern world. It starts with us parents because we are the role models for our children.

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“Beauty”

People need to rely more on their common sense. In the world that we are living today is very easy to get distracted. There is so many things going on, we are bombarded from all sides. Media is usually the most effective way of disturbing people’s lives. The worst results of media affecting population is related to promoting “beauty”.  TV commercials, social media, celebrities and especially all the reality shows are in majority cases based on how we should look and what is the standard of being beautiful.

I have been living in the UK for almost two years now. The amount of women I have seen that have completely destroyed their faces from a desperate search of looking ideal is horrendous.  These are young women who have their whole lives in front of them and they are just not happy with their image. The reason for that is probably the consistent vibe from the world, the intense pressure of perfect photos everywhere. It is sad that everybody knows that all those things are not reality but yet majority of women and men still trying to get close to that kind of perfection.

What is beauty?  Is that really something that we can categorize? Every person is unique, we all have different features and we can’t look like someone else. I think we all have one or two parts of the body that we are not quite happy with and that is very normal because nobody is perfect. And if we take care of ourselves with healthy lifestyle we can build that confidence that we need. Women I have seen are obviously bothered by many things when it comes to their faces and figure. The extents they go to have deeper issues. The inner beauty is damaged and because they have a lack of self confidence they can easily be affected by all the promoters of perfection.

I have never been against plastic surgery, botox, fillers, make-up, hair extensions, beauty tattoos and all that is available at this time. We have to take care of our body and we have to look good and feel good but at the right level. Sometimes women just go too far and just want more and more until the end result is even worse than it was at the beginning. It is important to find a limit how far to go. Sometimes you have to ask yourself is that really something that will make me happier? It is interesting that usually people don’t even notice that you have changed something unless it is so drastic that you look completely different.

Teenage girls are the most vulnerable category. They mostly experiment with make-up and of course follow all the trends out there. But they can get influenced by their mothers as well. They can get the wrong impression already from the beginning and by the time they become teenagers the lack of confidence is their best companion. And with all the pressure from the world’s idea of perfection everything can go rapidly down the hill. It is not a coincident that we have major amount of young people with severe types of depression.

Beauty is not just an image we are wearing, it is much more. Beauty is the whole package. When we love ourselves and we enjoy our body, when our mind is at peace, when we love what we do, when we are happy, that is called beauty. If you have a chance to tell people on a daily bases that they are beautiful just the way they are then there might be a big chance to save some ones future well being.

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Vaccination – is it safe or not?

I recently had to vaccinate my baby. We postponed the immunisation process that should be done between two and four months. She got the vitamin K and BCG shot when she was born and at eight months the first shot for everything else. First few days looked like everything will be fine and there were no side effects but maybe a week after she started to get very sick. She had a high temperature, really bad cough, completely blocked nose and she was having difficulties to breathe. I thought that this should be a normal reaction to vaccine and that will pass shortly. I wasn’t too concerned although this was actually her first time being sick since she was born.

After a week of coughing all day and night I decided anyway to take her to the doctor just to make sure everything is ok. We left the hospital with the respirator mask for asthma. It was a bit of a shock for me because she was perfectly healthy baby and now suddenly she is suffering to breathe normally? Doctor was not concerned and advised us to use this for a week and she will get better. Everything went back to normal in a week and it was a relief for me but at the same time I started to seriously think about side effects of vaccination.

We have noticed other changes with Michelle. She was a very patient and calm baby, she carefully listened to every word I said and understood everything. After the vaccine she started to get very fussy and impatient, sometimes even aggressive and loud. I couldn’t understand really what was going on, so I tried to convince myself that we are entering a new stage of her life. Even her sleeping routine changed almost instantly. When I put her to bed she would go completely crazy, screaming and kicking with her legs and waking up many times through the night. That was a big difference from the routine we had before.

Four weeks after the first shot she got the second one. At that time I decided to really pay attention for any side effects. The cough was back which was very interesting and her mood changed even more. Some of the rashes that were healed already came back. That was for me and my husband a red flag. We started with a research and discovered many interesting things. We have listened to so many different stories how children became autistic and got different allergies, even became asthmatic. Honestly it is very difficult to understand that majority of babies nowadays have some kind of problems.

I always believed doctors when it came to vaccination and I always said that babies need to be vaccinated. Of course we don’t want our babies to get sick so we have to protect them. But do we really protect them with vaccination? I am not a scientist or a doctor but I have heard enough to decide that Michelle will not be vaccinated anymore. I had my flu and whooping cough shot as well when I was pregnant and ended up with a very bad chest infection. Never been so sick before but thankfully my body was strong enough to fight trough.

If a mother would ask me for advice now what to do, I wouldn’t say yes you have to vaccinate your child. I would suggest every mother to read about it and then decide. Don’t go in without any knowledge as I did. I know that in some countries it’s still mandatory but here in the UK we can decide. I am not a mother that is promoting the anti vaccination movement, I am just here to share my experience and my opinion. Please share your opinion about that and maybe even your own experience.

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Mothers, don’t feel guilty if you let your baby cry sometimes

Letting our baby cry instead of tending to their cry immediately sounds like a terrible thing to do, but… We are often forgetting how intelligent and smart our little mini-me’s are. The only way of communication is through crying as soon as they are born. It takes some time to get to know your baby and learning how to define different types of cries. Up to four months of age I believe they only cry when they are hungry, in pain, or if they need a nappy changed. After that they get used to you and their surroundings and they start to use different sounds to get your attention. Trying to test us is their way of demanding things. We are parents for a reason. We have to raise them, and honestly, no one wants to have a spoiled child who will cry or later even scream for everything. Or, maybe you do?

Michelle was crying at the beginning only at the evenings when it was time to sleep. Of course, we were holding her and walking around with her in our arms until she would finally fall asleep. Sometimes it would take us hours of walking around comforting her. The time was passing and we were exhausted because we didn’t sleep much. As new parents we knew what to expect but at the same time we were aware that she is growing and she now understands some things already. We came to the point where we didn’t know what to do next. We understood when she was six months old that she was now at the stage when things start changing. She began showing us her character and emotional intelligence already. Fully understanding who mum and dad are and began with demanding and testing how far she can go.

My husband and I were talking a lot about this and we were having some disagreements on how to move on from that point. I had more of a soft nurturing approach and my husband was trying to get on with a more firm approach. I am glad that we are so different because we were eventually able to find the middle way which is probably the best. My softness and his firmness combined in to a perfect combination for raising our child. Through her development we managed to define when it is time to nurture her and other times when her demands come out, time for firmness.

Let me mention that children are very different. Not every child can be approached in the same way. That’s why it’s so important to observe your baby and start early with realising how to raise your little one. It is very difficult, especially for the first time mothers. It’s the first time for me as well and I soon noticed that I may be on a path of spoiling my child and at the same time not giving her a chance to be autonomous. So that’s the reason we sometimes let her cry but at the same time make sure that she has everything she needs. And, I have to say, that we have noticed a big difference in her development. She started to try more things on her own and explore the environment. And that was the moment when I lost the filling of guilt because I saw that she can do things that I would usually do for her because she demanded.

That’s my opinion and I don’t say every mother should do the same thing. But I have to say that it is very disturbing to see children that are very demanding. Sometimes to the point that mothers don’t know what to do anymore. They feel helpless because they didn’t start early with a healthy combination of nurturing and firmness. It is not easy but mostly we think that a baby up till one year old should be just cuddled all day. Babies are very smart and I see that with Michelle. She will be ten months soon and I can tell that she observes and understands everything we do. We have to let them be and explore the world but at the same time teach them to be autonomous.

 

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Normal is very different and different is very normal

Last night I was watching the movie Venom and I was left speechless. It really made me think. Who on planet earth has such an amazing imagination to make a movie like that? Is that normal? I never liked science fiction because it’s just completely unreal for me but I have to admit that this one has a very good story behind it. I started to ask myself how can we define the normal things in life and the ones that are different. How can we really know what is normal and what is different?

I grew up in a family of four. My parents were working a lot but during all the free days we were enjoying together, exploring the world, and taking care of each other. I considered myself as a very normal child. I was thinking about the future, how my wedding will look like and how many kids will I have. The normal kind of thoughts every little girl has at that stage.

Through my teenage years I heard lots of times how different I am, people were saying this all the time. Because of my sports career, I travelled a lot and met many people from different backgrounds and cultures and I thought that’s probably the reason why they see me as a very different person. My way of dressing, my hair style, the way I was doing things didn’t stand out from the average. I didn’t have pink hair with piercings all over my face or tattooed body, but yet, the same opinion from other people was staying with me through my life. Even my relationships didn’t work out because men were just very intimidated by me saying I am different and they were not able to handle that.

Years after, I met my husband and he was the complete opposite of me. Finally, I thought if he says I am different he will have a very good reason. When we started to get to know each other, he really did come out with this opinion and kept repeating himself all the time. And I always said, of course we are different and it’s very obvious. But my curiosity didn’t sleep so I opened a conversation and asked him more about that. He explained me that I am different than all the women he met in his life. My way of talking, interacting with people, thinking, expressing myself and even my priorities are not what he was experiencing with others.

Well now I know that I am different but at the same time I think completely normal from my point of view. We always like to use these two words to judge people and it isn’t supposed to be like that. Everyone has their own opinion about what’s normal and what’s different but be careful because whatever you think is strange and unreal can be completely normal for someone else. Thankfully we live in a mostly democratic world, so we all have the right to express our thoughts but we have to make sure that our words don’t hurt other people’s feelings.

 

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New year

It was an amazing year for me and my family. We got a precious gift, our daughter Michelle. She is bringing so much joy and love, our lives changed in a way I can’t describe. She is spending her first Christmas the best way possible, surrounded with people who love her the most. We decided to travel to my home country and enjoy this time of the year with my family. The morning smell of a home made coffee and sweets are priceless. Mom’s food reminds me of my childhood, different lifestyle and now I can introduce all of it to my daughter as well.

I started to write a blog this year and really enjoyed sharing a part of my life with people. I didn’t expect to get such a great response from all of you who are following me. That is giving me new motivation and inspiration for the year ahead. My husband was very successful with his business and at the same time amazing support to me and our daughter. We had accomplished so many things and overall it was a great year full of happiness and love.

I wish you all positive and good wishes. Enjoy this incredible time of the year with people you love, embrace all the special moments which will never come back. Take your time for family and friends, bring back the best moments of the year and let go of the ones that made you sad. Forgive to all the people who hurt you and start a new year with a fresh and positive mind set.

 

Communication Error

I managed to learn so many things about people by just observing them. It’s interesting to see how different we are. The way we walk, communicate and act in public reveals the true nature of us. And that kind of things show even more when it comes to relationships. Interaction between two people can show how deep or shallow is their love and respect for each other. Communication is a part of our daily life and it’s very important. But unfortunately it comes in so many different levels and it’s so unbelievable when you see a very good and a very bad one next to each other.

It was a lovely Sunday evening. I was enjoying with my husband and Michelle on the restaurant’s terrace, drinking wine and talking about family life. The restaurant was lit up and we were able to see everything going on inside. Suddenly our conversation changed and we started to observe people in the restaurant. Two couples immediately caught our attention. One of them probably in late 50’s and the other one in late 20’s. Interaction between these two couples was the complete opposite. It was a great inspiration for my writing.

The older couple looked like they were on the first date when you do all your best to really pay attention to the person sitting on the other side. They were talking all the time and it was obvious that the conversation was very interesting. We were able to see the eye contact and the body language that shows the connection between them. It was really incredible to see their sincere smiles and happiness throughout the whole evening.

On the other side the young couple was so different. At first I thought they were just friends decided to go out for a drink and ran out of topics to gossip about. Both of them were completely obsessed with phones. He was laughing while watching probably something really funny on the screen. At the same time her face had no expression, she was just looking at her phone, swiping left and right with her hand. Every once in a while she would look up, just rolled her eyes and focus right back into her own world. Half an hour later she asked him to get her another drink. He stood up, gave her a very short kiss and head to the bar to order a beer. After coming back to the table they repeated the same thing again and left the restaurant.

That was a very interesting observation for us and a great reminder at the same time how important communication is. We have to talk with our loved ones to understand them and get to know them on a different level. The new generation of couples are often too superficial and care only about the outside image. Whatever is underneath the shell doesn’t interest them. I wouldn’t say everybody is like that and probably the phones are not the only reason for communication errors. Couples don’t lose the love and sparkle just because you are too busy with your own little world. Pay attention to your loved ones and nourish the connection while enjoying life.

 

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