Mothers, don’t feel guilty if you let your baby cry sometimes

Letting our baby cry instead of tending to their cry immediately sounds like a terrible thing to do, but… We are often forgetting how intelligent and smart our little mini-me’s are. The only way of communication is through crying as soon as they are born. It takes some time to get to know your baby and learning how to define different types of cries. Up to four months of age I believe they only cry when they are hungry, in pain, or if they need a nappy changed. After that they get used to you and their surroundings and they start to use different sounds to get your attention. Trying to test us is their way of demanding things. We are parents for a reason. We have to raise them, and honestly, no one wants to have a spoiled child who will cry or later even scream for everything. Or, maybe you do?

Michelle was crying at the beginning only at the evenings when it was time to sleep. Of course, we were holding her and walking around with her in our arms until she would finally fall asleep. Sometimes it would take us hours of walking around comforting her. The time was passing and we were exhausted because we didn’t sleep much. As new parents we knew what to expect but at the same time we were aware that she is growing and she now understands some things already. We came to the point where we didn’t know what to do next. We understood when she was six months old that she was now at the stage when things start changing. She began showing us her character and emotional intelligence already. Fully understanding who mum and dad are and began with demanding and testing how far she can go.

My husband and I were talking a lot about this and we were having some disagreements on how to move on from that point. I had more of a soft nurturing approach and my husband was trying to get on with a more firm approach. I am glad that we are so different because we were eventually able to find the middle way which is probably the best. My softness and his firmness combined in to a perfect combination for raising our child. Through her development we managed to define when it is time to nurture her and other times when her demands come out, time for firmness.

Let me mention that children are very different. Not every child can be approached in the same way. That’s why it’s so important to observe your baby and start early with realising how to raise your little one. It is very difficult, especially for the first time mothers. It’s the first time for me as well and I soon noticed that I may be on a path of spoiling my child and at the same time not giving her a chance to be autonomous. So that’s the reason we sometimes let her cry but at the same time make sure that she has everything she needs. And, I have to say, that we have noticed a big difference in her development. She started to try more things on her own and explore the environment. And that was the moment when I lost the filling of guilt because I saw that she can do things that I would usually do for her because she demanded.

That’s my opinion and I don’t say every mother should do the same thing. But I have to say that it is very disturbing to see children that are very demanding. Sometimes to the point that mothers don’t know what to do anymore. They feel helpless because they didn’t start early with a healthy combination of nurturing and firmness. It is not easy but mostly we think that a baby up till one year old should be just cuddled all day. Babies are very smart and I see that with Michelle. She will be ten months soon and I can tell that she observes and understands everything we do. We have to let them be and explore the world but at the same time teach them to be autonomous.

 

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