Vaccination – is it safe or not?

I recently had to vaccinate my baby. We postponed the immunisation process that should be done between two and four months. She got the vitamin K and BCG shot when she was born and at eight months the first shot for everything else. First few days looked like everything will be fine and there were no side effects but maybe a week after she started to get very sick. She had a high temperature, really bad cough, completely blocked nose and she was having difficulties to breathe. I thought that this should be a normal reaction to vaccine and that will pass shortly. I wasn’t too concerned although this was actually her first time being sick since she was born.

After a week of coughing all day and night I decided anyway to take her to the doctor just to make sure everything is ok. We left the hospital with the respirator mask for asthma. It was a bit of a shock for me because she was perfectly healthy baby and now suddenly she is suffering to breathe normally? Doctor was not concerned and advised us to use this for a week and she will get better. Everything went back to normal in a week and it was a relief for me but at the same time I started to seriously think about side effects of vaccination.

We have noticed other changes with Michelle. She was a very patient and calm baby, she carefully listened to every word I said and understood everything. After the vaccine she started to get very fussy and impatient, sometimes even aggressive and loud. I couldn’t understand really what was going on, so I tried to convince myself that we are entering a new stage of her life. Even her sleeping routine changed almost instantly. When I put her to bed she would go completely crazy, screaming and kicking with her legs and waking up many times through the night. That was a big difference from the routine we had before.

Four weeks after the first shot she got the second one. At that time I decided to really pay attention for any side effects. The cough was back which was very interesting and her mood changed even more. Some of the rashes that were healed already came back. That was for me and my husband a red flag. We started with a research and discovered many interesting things. We have listened to so many different stories how children became autistic and got different allergies, even became asthmatic. Honestly it is very difficult to understand that majority of babies nowadays have some kind of problems.

I always believed doctors when it came to vaccination and I always said that babies need to be vaccinated. Of course we don’t want our babies to get sick so we have to protect them. But do we really protect them with vaccination? I am not a scientist or a doctor but I have heard enough to decide that Michelle will not be vaccinated anymore. I had my flu and whooping cough shot as well when I was pregnant and ended up with a very bad chest infection. Never been so sick before but thankfully my body was strong enough to fight trough.

If a mother would ask me for advice now what to do, I wouldn’t say yes you have to vaccinate your child. I would suggest every mother to read about it and then decide. Don’t go in without any knowledge as I did. I know that in some countries it’s still mandatory but here in the UK we can decide. I am not a mother that is promoting the anti vaccination movement, I am just here to share my experience and my opinion. Please share your opinion about that and maybe even your own experience.

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Mothers, don’t feel guilty if you let your baby cry sometimes

Letting our baby cry instead of tending to their cry immediately sounds like a terrible thing to do, but… We are often forgetting how intelligent and smart our little mini-me’s are. The only way of communication is through crying as soon as they are born. It takes some time to get to know your baby and learning how to define different types of cries. Up to four months of age I believe they only cry when they are hungry, in pain, or if they need a nappy changed. After that they get used to you and their surroundings and they start to use different sounds to get your attention. Trying to test us is their way of demanding things. We are parents for a reason. We have to raise them, and honestly, no one wants to have a spoiled child who will cry or later even scream for everything. Or, maybe you do?

Michelle was crying at the beginning only at the evenings when it was time to sleep. Of course, we were holding her and walking around with her in our arms until she would finally fall asleep. Sometimes it would take us hours of walking around comforting her. The time was passing and we were exhausted because we didn’t sleep much. As new parents we knew what to expect but at the same time we were aware that she is growing and she now understands some things already. We came to the point where we didn’t know what to do next. We understood when she was six months old that she was now at the stage when things start changing. She began showing us her character and emotional intelligence already. Fully understanding who mum and dad are and began with demanding and testing how far she can go.

My husband and I were talking a lot about this and we were having some disagreements on how to move on from that point. I had more of a soft nurturing approach and my husband was trying to get on with a more firm approach. I am glad that we are so different because we were eventually able to find the middle way which is probably the best. My softness and his firmness combined in to a perfect combination for raising our child. Through her development we managed to define when it is time to nurture her and other times when her demands come out, time for firmness.

Let me mention that children are very different. Not every child can be approached in the same way. That’s why it’s so important to observe your baby and start early with realising how to raise your little one. It is very difficult, especially for the first time mothers. It’s the first time for me as well and I soon noticed that I may be on a path of spoiling my child and at the same time not giving her a chance to be autonomous. So that’s the reason we sometimes let her cry but at the same time make sure that she has everything she needs. And, I have to say, that we have noticed a big difference in her development. She started to try more things on her own and explore the environment. And that was the moment when I lost the filling of guilt because I saw that she can do things that I would usually do for her because she demanded.

That’s my opinion and I don’t say every mother should do the same thing. But I have to say that it is very disturbing to see children that are very demanding. Sometimes to the point that mothers don’t know what to do anymore. They feel helpless because they didn’t start early with a healthy combination of nurturing and firmness. It is not easy but mostly we think that a baby up till one year old should be just cuddled all day. Babies are very smart and I see that with Michelle. She will be ten months soon and I can tell that she observes and understands everything we do. We have to let them be and explore the world but at the same time teach them to be autonomous.

 

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New year

It was an amazing year for me and my family. We got a precious gift, our daughter Michelle. She is bringing so much joy and love, our lives changed in a way I can’t describe. She is spending her first Christmas the best way possible, surrounded with people who love her the most. We decided to travel to my home country and enjoy this time of the year with my family. The morning smell of a home made coffee and sweets are priceless. Mom’s food reminds me of my childhood, different lifestyle and now I can introduce all of it to my daughter as well.

I started to write a blog this year and really enjoyed sharing a part of my life with people. I didn’t expect to get such a great response from all of you who are following me. That is giving me new motivation and inspiration for the year ahead. My husband was very successful with his business and at the same time amazing support to me and our daughter. We had accomplished so many things and overall it was a great year full of happiness and love.

I wish you all positive and good wishes. Enjoy this incredible time of the year with people you love, embrace all the special moments which will never come back. Take your time for family and friends, bring back the best moments of the year and let go of the ones that made you sad. Forgive to all the people who hurt you and start a new year with a fresh and positive mind set.

 

Communication Error

I managed to learn so many things about people by just observing them. It’s interesting to see how different we are. The way we walk, communicate and act in public reveals the true nature of us. And that kind of things show even more when it comes to relationships. Interaction between two people can show how deep or shallow is their love and respect for each other. Communication is a part of our daily life and it’s very important. But unfortunately it comes in so many different levels and it’s so unbelievable when you see a very good and a very bad one next to each other.

It was a lovely Sunday evening. I was enjoying with my husband and Michelle on the restaurant’s terrace, drinking wine and talking about family life. The restaurant was lit up and we were able to see everything going on inside. Suddenly our conversation changed and we started to observe people in the restaurant. Two couples immediately caught our attention. One of them probably in late 50’s and the other one in late 20’s. Interaction between these two couples was the complete opposite. It was a great inspiration for my writing.

The older couple looked like they were on the first date when you do all your best to really pay attention to the person sitting on the other side. They were talking all the time and it was obvious that the conversation was very interesting. We were able to see the eye contact and the body language that shows the connection between them. It was really incredible to see their sincere smiles and happiness throughout the whole evening.

On the other side the young couple was so different. At first I thought they were just friends decided to go out for a drink and ran out of topics to gossip about. Both of them were completely obsessed with phones. He was laughing while watching probably something really funny on the screen. At the same time her face had no expression, she was just looking at her phone, swiping left and right with her hand. Every once in a while she would look up, just rolled her eyes and focus right back into her own world. Half an hour later she asked him to get her another drink. He stood up, gave her a very short kiss and head to the bar to order a beer. After coming back to the table they repeated the same thing again and left the restaurant.

That was a very interesting observation for us and a great reminder at the same time how important communication is. We have to talk with our loved ones to understand them and get to know them on a different level. The new generation of couples are often too superficial and care only about the outside image. Whatever is underneath the shell doesn’t interest them. I wouldn’t say everybody is like that and probably the phones are not the only reason for communication errors. Couples don’t lose the love and sparkle just because you are too busy with your own little world. Pay attention to your loved ones and nourish the connection while enjoying life.

 

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Feminism destroyed a new generation of men# my opinion

Controversial topic? Definitely, but I have a very strong opinion about that. Women did change the male population. Back in the days everybody knew what roles they were playing. Women have an extreme power to give a chance for a new life to begin. Don’t get me wrong, I really support women to get the best education,  to get the great jobs and most of all to have the same rights as men do. But at the same time to let a man be a man.

Let’s be realistic, men will always be the lion of the kingdom and it has to be like that. They have to feel strong to protect our families and our lives. Women are the ones that have to encourage this and not destroy it. The new generation of women started to fight against that because they can’t understand their power. People say that women support three angles of the house and they don’t say that for no reason. We do and we have to know what does that mean. If you take away the power of the man being a leader there is no way back. That’s the best way to completely womanise the men.

Women started to fight for the positions which in the past were reserved only for men. I don’t have any problem with that. But do they transfer that as well into the personal lives? Yes, I think the certainly do. That’s were the problems begin.

I have had a chance to interact with quite a few men in my life through my sports career and later on in relationships. I realised that I couldn’t really relate to my generation of men. I liked the old school. Being strong on the outside and showing some parts of the soft inside was what I was used to. But this new generation is the complete opposite. The jelly shell feels like you can just see through and when you see the inside there’s a burning fire ready to explode. In the past men respected their mothers. Today you can see every second boy or a young man fighting and arguing with his mother because that’s the only female that will let him to express his power. And I have to say it’s really sad to see that.

Do women have to go that far? I don’t know what you want for the future population but this is definitely not the best beginning of the feminism age. Women be women and let men be men. That’s how it was meant to be. Try to understand men that they need to be the leaders. If you don’t let them to be that in professional careers at least let them be that in their personal lives. At the end of the day even a strong man will always say “sorry guys, I have to go, my wife just called me”.

 

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How to maintain your relationship in a good shape

Talk, talk, talk and talk again. And when you think you have explained everything to each other, talk some more and make sure you really understand your man. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Unfortunately, nowadays people don’t have time to talk enough and that’s the main reason why couples lose their connection. And when you lose that bond with your partner, it’s really hard to get it back on track again.

Communication is not the only important thing in a relationship. You have to also trust your partner to make the love grow in the right direction. Building that is a very complicated process which can collapse many times through the years, but only the strongest survive those falls. Women are usually emotionally more stable than men even though it doesn’t seem always like that. If a woman is emotionally very stable then there is a big chance that the relationship will be successful. We know how to guide men in the right direction with a gentle and firm hand at the same time. This can be very tricky but if you know your man you know exactly what to do.

I have been reading a lot lately about compromises and the fact that you can’t change your partner. “Yes you can”, and I have a living proof at home. People can change, and not in direction just to make compromises. But of course only with lots of conversation and emotional balance. Life is not spinning only around you. For a relationship and family you have to sacrifice a bit of yourself and your own needs to make it an amazing experience. Everything needs to be balanced and both partners need to do the same thing to start travelling towards success.

I have mentioned some extremely important things but left sexuality for the last part. Probably the majority of people will say that sex is most likely number one when it comes to the scale of importance. Yes, I agree with that and I am the first one to say, “women please be daring in the bedroom… “. But don’t forget as well about just sharing love on a daily basis, saying I love you or maybe just a random hug and kiss. That is a part of sexuality as well and it can affect partner in a very different way. A few loving words or a touch can sometimes feel even better than sex because you know that your love is thinking about you and cares about you. So I think people forget about these small things that can lead with years into emotional emptiness.

Relationships are hard work but a good one can be priceless and worth of every effort you put into it. Try to understand your partner and stop knocking on the door with, “hey I know everything” kind of attitude. They say for a reason that women and men come from a different planet. Don’t give up on the relationship with the first problem that comes by. Remember that there is no one without problems and it can only make your connection stronger if you manage to solve it. Make it simple, complications can destroy everything and enjoy every moment which will never come back. Life is too short. And finally, simply love each other.