I recently had to vaccinate my baby. We postponed the immunisation process that should be done between two and four months. She got the vitamin K and BCG shot when she was born and at eight months the first shot for everything else. First few days looked like everything will be fine and there were no side effects but maybe a week after she started to get very sick. She had a high temperature, really bad cough, completely blocked nose and she was having difficulties to breathe. I thought that this should be a normal reaction to vaccine and that will pass shortly. I wasn’t too concerned although this was actually her first time being sick since she was born.
After a week of coughing all day and night I decided anyway to take her to the doctor just to make sure everything is ok. We left the hospital with the respirator mask for asthma. It was a bit of a shock for me because she was perfectly healthy baby and now suddenly she is suffering to breathe normally? Doctor was not concerned and advised us to use this for a week and she will get better. Everything went back to normal in a week and it was a relief for me but at the same time I started to seriously think about side effects of vaccination.
We have noticed other changes with Michelle. She was a very patient and calm baby, she carefully listened to every word I said and understood everything. After the vaccine she started to get very fussy and impatient, sometimes even aggressive and loud. I couldn’t understand really what was going on, so I tried to convince myself that we are entering a new stage of her life. Even her sleeping routine changed almost instantly. When I put her to bed she would go completely crazy, screaming and kicking with her legs and waking up many times through the night. That was a big difference from the routine we had before.
Four weeks after the first shot she got the second one. At that time I decided to really pay attention for any side effects. The cough was back which was very interesting and her mood changed even more. Some of the rashes that were healed already came back. That was for me and my husband a red flag. We started with a research and discovered many interesting things. We have listened to so many different stories how children became autistic and got different allergies, even became asthmatic. Honestly it is very difficult to understand that majority of babies nowadays have some kind of problems.
I always believed doctors when it came to vaccination and I always said that babies need to be vaccinated. Of course we don’t want our babies to get sick so we have to protect them. But do we really protect them with vaccination? I am not a scientist or a doctor but I have heard enough to decide that Michelle will not be vaccinated anymore. I had my flu and whooping cough shot as well when I was pregnant and ended up with a very bad chest infection. Never been so sick before but thankfully my body was strong enough to fight trough.
If a mother would ask me for advice now what to do, I wouldn’t say yes you have to vaccinate your child. I would suggest every mother to read about it and then decide. Don’t go in without any knowledge as I did. I know that in some countries it’s still mandatory but here in the UK we can decide. I am not a mother that is promoting the anti vaccination movement, I am just here to share my experience and my opinion. Please share your opinion about that and maybe even your own experience.
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Letting our baby cry instead of tending to their cry immediately sounds like a terrible thing to do, but… We are often forgetting how intelligent and smart our little mini-me’s are. The only way of communication is through crying as soon as they are born. It takes some time to get to know your baby and learning how to define different types of cries. Up to four months of age I believe they only cry when they are hungry, in pain, or if they need a nappy changed. After that they get used to you and their surroundings and they start to use different sounds to get your attention. Trying to test us is their way of demanding things. We are parents for a reason. We have to raise them, and honestly, no one wants to have a spoiled child who will cry or later even scream for everything. Or, maybe you do?
Michelle was crying at the beginning only at the evenings when it was time to sleep. Of course, we were holding her and walking around with her in our arms until she would finally fall asleep. Sometimes it would take us hours of walking around comforting her. The time was passing and we were exhausted because we didn’t sleep much. As new parents we knew what to expect but at the same time we were aware that she is growing and she now understands some things already. We came to the point where we didn’t know what to do next. We understood when she was six months old that she was now at the stage when things start changing. She began showing us her character and emotional intelligence already. Fully understanding who mum and dad are and began with demanding and testing how far she can go.
My husband and I were talking a lot about this and we were having some disagreements on how to move on from that point. I had more of a soft nurturing approach and my husband was trying to get on with a more firm approach. I am glad that we are so different because we were eventually able to find the middle way which is probably the best. My softness and his firmness combined in to a perfect combination for raising our child. Through her development we managed to define when it is time to nurture her and other times when her demands come out, time for firmness.
Let me mention that children are very different. Not every child can be approached in the same way. That’s why it’s so important to observe your baby and start early with realising how to raise your little one. It is very difficult, especially for the first time mothers. It’s the first time for me as well and I soon noticed that I may be on a path of spoiling my child and at the same time not giving her a chance to be autonomous. So that’s the reason we sometimes let her cry but at the same time make sure that she has everything she needs. And, I have to say, that we have noticed a big difference in her development. She started to try more things on her own and explore the environment. And that was the moment when I lost the filling of guilt because I saw that she can do things that I would usually do for her because she demanded.
That’s my opinion and I don’t say every mother should do the same thing. But I have to say that it is very disturbing to see children that are very demanding. Sometimes to the point that mothers don’t know what to do anymore. They feel helpless because they didn’t start early with a healthy combination of nurturing and firmness. It is not easy but mostly we think that a baby up till one year old should be just cuddled all day. Babies are very smart and I see that with Michelle. She will be ten months soon and I can tell that she observes and understands everything we do. We have to let them be and explore the world but at the same time teach them to be autonomous.
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When you are thinking about having a baby you always think just about the best moments. It will be so wonderful to breastfeed and play with a child and all the bonding, love and happiness we will experience as a family. All that is definitely amazing but there are things as well that are not very easy for a new parents.
I was breastfeeding at the beginning and was so determined that my baby will be exclusively breastfed for six months or even more. I really wanted all the best for her but reality was different. My milk supply was not good so I struggled for the first two weeks with pumping every day and night. Sometimes I was sitting in the bathroom for hours try to get some milk and at the same time not to wake up anyone. My nipples were bleeding and couldn’t recover from one feed till the next one. After two weeks a nurse tried to help me and we realised that our baby girl has a tongue tie and she can’t latch normally. At that moment I gave up and started to feed her with the bottle and it was such a relief for us.
From that point onward things were getting better. She was happy, her sleeping habits started to get more regular at least we thought so and she was feeding easier. But finding a very good formula for her was a challenge. We tried so many of them and it seemed like we will never find the right one. She developed a big rash on the back of her neck which was a big issue and now we know that was connected with the milk. But at that time we were still trying to find a solution, going to the doctor and they had no clue what was going on. I had to put the socks on her hands to prevent the scratching and bleeding.
She had days when she was sleeping almost all night and then other ones when she didn’t sleep at all. Sometimes I was holding her all night and falling asleep with her in my arms. I am sure all parents have to deal with this but I have to admit it was a big challenge for us because we didn’t have anyone near to help us sometimes. But of course things got better with time, we established the routine and having a child became a real joy. She started to smile and responding with different sounds. Her curiosity for everything around was amazing and the long walks with her were always the best medication for all the stress.
Michelle is now six months old and when I look back at all the sleepless nights and other issues I smile. I am happy that our girl is healthy and developing as a normal baby. Being a mother is a very hard job but at the same time an amazing experience with lots of love, happiness and funny moments.